So, there's this guy in my ward that I've had a crush on all year. He graduates in April and then I'll probably never see him again.
So I told him that I liked him by love note today.
I thought to myself, "Why not?! He leaves in 3.5 weeks, we are friends, and if he ends up getting scared, I won't see him ever again. If he doesn't get scared and actually does something, we can figure that out later." So I wrote the note, showed it to a friend to make sure it wasn't too awkward, and put it in the little bucket thing. And it was sent.
What is it about the end of the semester/school year that brings out the pent up frustrations of the past months? Why do we wait until the options are 'work it out' or 'never see you again'? Why didn't I acknowledge these "feelings" (I put that in quotes because I'm not sure I have actual feelings for him... I just know that I'd like to get to know him better. And I'd like to kiss him, because I like kissing...) when I first had them? Why did I wait for the last ward date of the year, the one that he can't go on, to talk to him about this? And why am I such a stinking coward?
I remember this one time I had a huge crush on [insert board writers name here]. HUGE. I recall how I never did anything about it, except maybe try to sit next to him at movie night or invite him over to watch a movie that I hadn't ever seen, but nothing ... specific. Nothing that would make him know that I liked him. Why? Well, besides being a super coward, I knew that since we had the same set of friends, it could get awkward, ridiculously awkward, and I was scared. Of course now that the semester is over, and summer is coming, and I'm pretty sure I won't see him for months (I actually haven't seen him in months, anyway) I want to say something even if it was in the past and I've almost moved on.
Almost. But I'm a coward so I'll put it on my blog and wait for him to eventually read it and laugh when he figures it out and never talks to me again. (What can I say? I rock the awkward moments!)
Anyway, the point to all that? That I'm a coward and deep down, I want to be the damsel that waits patiently for her prince to come and rescue her from her tower of singleness, but at my age? Hah. I need to find my own way out of the castle - or I'm never leaving.
Also, I hope that guy in my ward takes my note well and doesn't freak out. We'd be so cute! *girly giggle*
25 March 2007
"Love" Notes
Posted by SkyBluePink at 11:21 PM
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5 comments:
You know, the thing about this mysterious Board writer X is... how will you ever know if he did figure it out? I mean, it's not like he's just going to post a comment saying "Oh, hey. Wow, you liked me? I kinda wondered..." or "We really need to watch another movie sometime." That would just be awkward.
It's funny, though. I've done the same thing. I liked this girl in 8th grade, so I wrote her a note. But I didn't actually write it in English. I wrote it in a character set I gleaned from the back of the "Star Wars Monopoly" instructions and then slipped it into her locker when she wasn't around. Of course she never figured it out, but somehow I felt better just the same for having done it.
I'm a nerd.
(Yellow, you are a nerd.)
But what I was going to say was...
SBP, I searched for your blog because of the Facebook note. You had better appreciate that.
Yellow, I am awkward.
And you do have my phone number. And I guess I have yours, too.
And, also. I woke up this morning EXTRA early to delete this post. Now I can't. Curses.
Moral of the story: don't write things at 12:30 am.
Are you SURE you can't delete posts? I delete some of mine all the time.
But, I wanted to say that I think it's a great thing what you did (sending/writing the note.) You'll never know what might happen--and you took your future by the horns and are making things happen. Be proud of that!
I admire your courage! You are not a coward at all to have done something so bold! I am a coward, who in such situations would write the letter but never have the guts to send it his way! Let us know what happened, and if not, his loss! :)
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